


The Curious Case of the Toad and the Chicken Egg (and other stories)

by injeong



Series: Merlin Duty: A Thrilling Saga of everyone in Camelot shipping Merthur [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur is very done, Basilisks, But Gaius manages to convince him otherwise lol, Crack, Everyone Loves Merlin, Fluff, Gaius' eyebrow of doom, Gwaine has Merlin's back, Gwaine keeps a rooster under his bed for unspecified reasons, Hints of immortal!Merlin?, It comes in handy, Kilgharrah being a nosy dragon, Leon doesn't know what's going on, M/M, Magic, Merlin also gets given the talk, Merlin being a powerful dumbass warlock, Morgana is still evil here but she's also awesome so, Spells Gone Wrong, Uther Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), maybe he's just very stubborn, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:53:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26328187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/injeong/pseuds/injeong
Summary: A small collection of fics that were too short to post on their own! Mostly related to the three previous works in this series.Consists mainly of Arthur stressing over his warlock boyfriend, everyone somehow knowing about Merlin's magic, and Kilgharrah being a nosy bitch
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Merlin Duty: A Thrilling Saga of everyone in Camelot shipping Merthur [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886344
Comments: 103
Kudos: 614
Collections: Numerous OTPS Infinite Fandoms





	1. The Curious Case of the Toad and the Chicken Egg

  
Merlin was attempting to figure out how he was going to balance three plates of food and a pitcher of wine with one hand when the Basilisk was born. 

He was in Arthur's chambers, far from the source of the magic, but he felt it all the same, the sudden wave of nausea and dread and _wrong_ that made the world tilt dizzily before his eyes, and before he knew it, the floor was alarmingly close to his face and Arthur's voice was echoing distantly in his ears, confused and panicked in a way he rarely heard before. 

"- Merlin? Merlin, answer me, what's wrong -" 

_So many things were wrong_. Merlin gritted his teeth, forcing himself to his feet so abruptly it almost sent him reeling again, and grabbed onto Arthur's wrist for support. 

"Sorry," he gasped out. "Um. I have - um -" 

Arthur's face came into view, blurred and distant. He felt his hair being brushed away from his face, a cool hand pressing to his forehead.

"Are you sick? Where's the guard - send for Gaius immediately -" 

"What?" There's a hissing, echoing around his head, a snake-like noise that he shouldn't be able to hear from all the way up in the King's chambers. "I mean, yes, of course, I'm sick, I want to go to Gaius -" 

Arthur immediately picked up the fact that something was amiss, and caught Merlin's other hand. 

"There's something you're not telling me," he said lowly, and Merlin opened his mouth to protest, but another wave of sickness snatched the words from his mouth, and he staggered, almost falling against the wall. Arthur, his eyes dark with worry, made a small noise of frustration. 

"Never mind - just go to Gaius, get help. Listen to me - do _not_ go outside the castle and do something stupid. Understand?" 

"Of course, Arthur," said Merlin, flashing him an innocent smile, then stumbled hurriedly out of the castle and did something stupid. 

Well. It wasn't _entirely_ stupid, at the time. He hadn't known that it was a Basilisk that had been born, he had just known that some powerful magical entity had appeared out of nowhere in the middle of Camelot and that if he didn't do something now, people would get hurt. He ran through the streets, following the trail of malicious intent and whispered hissing in his ear, and skidded to a halt in front of the butcher's. 

He probably should have knocked first, but malicious magical entities appearing out of nowhere in the middle of the town seemed to justify a mild breaking-in-and-entering, so he politely asked the door to unlock with a thin stream of magic, and ran out into the small patch of grassy land just behind the building, where the hen coops were. For a moment, he didn't see anything wrong. Just a few chickens sitting silently in the grass, a couple of eggs in the straw, and a monstrous looking baby snake with gleaming yellow eyes. 

It took an embarrassingly long time for Merlin to realise the chickens were dead. 

"Oh," he said. 

That hadn't been a good idea either, because the baby snake startled at the noise and whipped around to face him. Merlin had just enough time to recall a passage from a book on monsters he had read once - 

_A Basilisk — otherwise known as the King of Serpents — is a bright green snake, which can grow to an enormous size -_

and remembered with a swooping feeling of dread that whoever looked directly into a Basilisk's eyes died immediately 

_born from a chicken egg hatched beneath a toad_

(well, that explained what the frog was doing in the chicken coop) 

and then everything went dark. 

  
He woke up with a start, and ended up accidentally headbutting the person who was leaning over him anxiously. 

"Ow," they said simultaneously, and Merlin remembered what happened. In a flurry of panic, he scrambled to his feet, and cursed when his legs promptly gave out. 

" _Ow_ ," he said again, and he looked up to see Matthew, the butcher's son, rubbing his forehead and looking at him in a mixture of shock and fear. 

"How - what -" Matthew looked ready to faint. "You were dead -" 

Right, the Basilisk. That explained why he was freezing - dead bodies didn't exactly have the ability to regulate their own temperature. Merlin shook his head, shivering, trying to clear his thoughts. 

"Was I?" he replied mildly. "I don't remember." 

"You weren't breathing," said Matthew hysterically, and Merlin suddenly thought of something that made his heart stop.

"Oh, no. Did - did you tell anyone? About me dying?" Gods, if Arthur had found out -

"I thought you said you didn't die!" Matthew cried. "And no, of course not! What do you think the guards would do if I turned up on the castle steps with your dead body, saying that I just found it in my back garden? They would behead me on the spot! The king would execute me! The servants would tie me to a bunch of horses and rip my body apart!" 

Sagging back against the wall with a sigh, Merlin closed his eyes. "Yeah, you're probably right." 

Matthew looked at him in disbelief. 

Now that he was sure that Arthur wouldn't come crashing through the door with a small army, Merlin began to formulate a plan. 

"It may have caught your attention that there is something rather ... odd, in your chicken coop," he began cautiously. Matthew scoffed. 

"You mean the Basilisk that killed all my chickens and almost killed you? Yeah, I think that's rather out of place." 

Merlin's mind stuttered to a halt. He stared up at Matthew, wide-eyed. 

"How -?" 

Quickly, Matthew hushed him, a cheeky smile playing over his lips. 

"My grandmother," he said. "She lived before the Purge, and she used to tell me about all these magical creatures. Um - you won't tell, will you? I swear I'm not practising sorcery, I just heard about them -" 

"I won't," said Merlin, grinning. "But, uh - you probably shouldn't go around saying that. Just in case." 

"... Right." Matthew cleared his throat, looking towards the garden. "I used a poker and shut it inside the chicken coop. I think, if we go there now and find a way to kill it ..." 

_The crow of the rooster is fatal to it,_ Merlin remembered. That would come in handy, then. Now, where could he get a rooster ...?

Matthew trailed off, and Merlin looked towards the chicken coop. The door was open. 

"Are you sure you locked it?" he said, frowning. The door seemed a bit battered, now that he looked at it, small splinters of wood hanging off the frame. It almost looked as if - 

Matthew went pale. 

"It broke out." 

Arthur had been hanging out with his men, minding his own business, in the knight's quarters, when Merlin burst into the room. 

He hadn't seen Merlin since that morning, when he had suddenly collapsed, and now that he thought about it, it had probably been a little naive of him to assume that Merlin would have listened to him and gone straight to Gaius. Merlin skidded to a halt, red in the face and looking like he'd just run the entire length of the lower town. 

Arthur watched on in utter confusion as Merlin said something he'd never thought he would hear him say in his life.

"Gwaine," he gasped out. "I need a rooster. Stat." 

_What?_

Besides him, Gwaine beamed, unfazed, threw back the rest of his drink, and reached underneath his bed and pulled out a wriggling sack of _something_ , tossing it to Merlin. 

"Righty-ho, here you go." 

The sack hit Merlin in the face and almost knocked him over. Arthur watched it all unfold in bewilderment.

Merlin cautiously opened the mouth of the sack, and a cloud of scarlet feathers immediately flew up into his face, accompanied by some very affronted squawking. He coughed, waving the feathers away, and closed the sack hastily. 

"Cheers, Gwaine," he said, a relieved sort of grin on his face. "I'll buy you a drink tomorrow, yeah? And, uh - Arthur, this is sort of a life or death situation, so please don't fire me for this." 

"I'll hold you to that," Gwaine replied cheerfully, going back to his drink like he hadn't just pulled a rooster in a sack from underneath his bed. Merlin waved and sprinted out of the door again, the sack bouncing uncomfortably against his back. Arthur stared. 

"What just happened?" asked Leon, echoing his confusion. 

  
When Merlin stumbled into his chambers later that evening, jacket askew, the hem of his trousers pecked to shreds, and rooster feathers in his hair, Arthur couldn't even think of anything to say. He heaved a sigh. 

"Did anyone die?" he asked eventually, deciding that it would be a waste of effort to bother to ask for an explanation. Merlin blinked at him dumbly. 

"Um," he said. "Er - no?" 

"That's fine, then," said Arthur, yawning. "Come back to bed. Oh - for goodness' sake, wash up first, why you smell like chickens -?" 

(Needless to say, if anyone noticed the rooster feathers in Arthur's hair the next morning, nobody said anything.)


	2. In which Merlin also gets given the shovel talk by many people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now it's Merlin's turn lmao

Gaius sat Merlin down on the patient's cot, and looked at him seriously for a few long moments in silence. Merlin fidgeted uncomfortably. He hadn't done anything to warrant a scolding, not that he knew of ... there hadn't been any magical enemies he vanquished recently, and he hadn't used magic for his chores (at least, not that Gaius knew of). He cleared his throat hesitantly.

"Um. Did I do something wrong ...?" 

Oh, there it was. Gaius' famous eyebrow of Doom. 

Merlin paled, expecting some sort of horrible, world-shattering news - 

"Merlin," Gaius started, and Merlin tensed. "... why did you confess to Arthur?" 

\- oh.

That was it? 

Merlin raised his own eyebrow. "... because I like him?" 

"Like" was probably too weak of a word, but Merlin wasn't going to mention that. Gaius heaved another sigh, placing a hand solemnly on Merlin's shoulder. 

"I just wanted to make sure," he said. "That this isn't some ... misinterpretation of your 'destiny'. I know that dragon always was always a tad too cryptic -" 

_Oh. Oh, no._

"- I understand that he is your friend, but Arthur, despite what he may say, has clearly been besotted with you from the moment you met, and it would be rather cruel of you to try and do this out of purely obligation to destiny -"

_Holy goddess -_

Merlin shook his head wildly, almost giving himself whiplash. 

"No! Gods, Gaius, no, I would never - you think I did this for the _prophecy_?" 

Looking relieved, Gaius sat back, patting Merlin on the head. 

"Well, no, but I was just making sure. I've known Arthur since he was a boy, so I do feel rather protective of him too, if I do say so myself. In that case, ah ... good luck?" 

  
Merlin dreamed about strange things sometimes, but nothing prepared him for falling into a slumber and opening his eyes to see Morgana peering down at him. He yelped, scrambling away as fast as he could. Morgana only crossed her arms and watched on in amusement. 

"So," she started hopefully, while Merlin looked around wildly at the strange-looking dreamscape, "Is there any chance that you confessed to Arthur so that you could manipulate him into weakening his kingdom and making it easier for us to invade and return magic to the land ...?" 

Jaw dropping, Merlin stared at her. "How the fuck did you get in my dream? And also, _no_ , how could you possibly think that?" 

Morgana held up a clear crystal that was glowing dimly, magic seeping out of it in waves. Right. She was a sorceress.

"Dang." She shrugged, pocketing the crystal again. "That's a shame. Have fun courting my brother, I guess. I have a bet going with Morgause, so don't break up for at least four years, yes?" 

"A bet -?" 

Morgana smirked, snapped her fingers, and suddenly Merlin was shooting upright in his bed, heart pounding. 

" _What_." 

  
Merlin was out gathering herbs and minding his own business when the bushes rustled and a druid in white robes tumbled out. 

He let out an undignified squeak, dropping the bundle of yarrow. 

"What are you doing here?" 

The druid, unruffled, brushed the twigs off his robes and stood up, bowing and smiling cheerfully. 

"Greetings, Emrys! I am just making sure that you didn't use a love potion or an otherwise amorous enchantment to try and speed up the coming of Albion, because I know you would have meant well with it, you always mean well, but I just think that destiny wouldn't take it very well if you tried to do it like that -" 

Merlin spluttered indignantly. 

"Why does everyone think I'm doing that? No! Is it so hard to believe I may actually like him of my own accord?" 

The druid continued to beam at him. 

  
Merlin awoke in the middle of the night to a rather loud and incessant tapping on his window. It sounded like a very large bird. Groaning, he burrowed under the covers, hoping to fall back asleep. When the tapping didn't stop (rather, it increased in both frequency and volume), Merlin sighed heavily and stomped over to the window, throwing it open. 

"Shoo," he said blearily, half-asleep. He blinked, rubbing at his eyes, and saw -

It definitely wasn't a very large bird. It was a very, very large dragon. 

Merlin's jaw dropped.

"Kilgharrah?" he hissed. "What are you doing here? I ordered you to stay away from Camelot, didn't I?" 

"This is just a recreational trip," the golden dragon said calmly, flapping his wings and bobbing up and down before the window. "I saw that you and Arthur finally got together -" 

"No," said Merlin resolutely, and shut the window. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little thing I wrote, because everyone in Camelot loves Merlin and will defend his honour and chastity even from the king, but everyone in Camelot also loves Arthur as well and we shouldn't forget that lol


	3. One Hundred and One Merlins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin finds a cloning spell, and decides to try it out on himself. What could go wrong?   
> (Set before Arthur finds out, Uther is still dicking around Camelot)

Merlin stared in awe at the spell on the page, excitement bubbling up inside him and threatening to spill over. 

" _Oh_ ," he said gleefully, ignoring Gaius' look of horror. "This is going to be _so much fun_." 

"Merlin, _no_ -" 

"It'll come in handy!" Merlin snatched up the spell book, and ran up the stairs to his room, taking the steps three at a time. "You'll see!" 

Gaius gaped wordlessly at his receding figure, shaking his head. 

  
"καθρέφτης," Merlin muttered under his breath, staring intensely at the spellbook's pages. The pronunciations were always the hardest to get right - the Old Tongue came easily to him, since the Old Religion flowed through his veins, but it was still a whole other language, and Merlin only had so much time on his hands between chores and saving the kingdom. "καθρέφτης, καθρέφτης, καθρέφτης ..." 

He knew when he got it, the magic suddenly surging up through his body and filling his senses. The air in front of him flickered, rippled, and then - 

Merlin stared in delight at a perfect, mirror-copy of himself standing in front of him. Copy-Merlin stood silently, staring back at him blankly. It was a little strange, having eye-contact with himself. 

"Whoa," he breathed. "This is so weird." 

It was like looking at a painting - except the paintings in the castle were often horribly distorted with age, with the painted figures in awkward positions that looked highly uncomfortable. This painting looked flawless, like a reflection in a still lake or in a mirror. Curiously, Merlin stepped a little closer. He didn't have time to stare at himself in the mirror, and having the chance to see what he looked like ...

Then Merlin no. 2 crossed his arms and glared at him. 

" _You_ think this is weird? You just zapped me into existence without warning! This is weird for _me_!" 

Merlin-Original froze. 

"Wait," he said hesitantly. "You're ... sentient?" 

Merlin no. 2 rolled his eyes. "I'm _you_. And if you had read the rest of the page, you would have seen that once you summon a mirror-version of yourself into being, it will only disappear at the next stroke of midnight." 

Merlin-Original paused, paling. "Ah." 

It was only early morning. 

It would be fine, Merlin told himself as he ran through the castle corridors towards Arthur's chambers. He had told Merlin no. 2 to stay inside his room until midnight, and Merlin no. 2 was just as eager not to be caught and executed for sorcery as Merlin Original was, so he said yes. Gaius knew about his ... their? ... _plight_ , and had agreed to make sure nobody went up into Merlin's room and found Merlin no. 2 by accident. (Nobody really went into Merlin's room, anyway, so it shouldn't be a problem.) 

As long as the day passed normally, he should be back to normal by morning. 

Of course, destiny decided that _today_ was a good idea for a fresh assassination attempt. 

"- simple poison won't work for this," a low voice was muttering. Merlin froze, and backtracked as quietly as he could, pressing his ear to the door and squinting through the small crack in the wood. 

"Are you daft?" another voice whispered. "Of course it'll work, the royals always go about thinking nobody's going to dare to try and poison them -" 

So they were planning to try and murder Uther or Arthur. God, what was it with Pendragons? Their bloodline must be a magnet for bad luck and melodramatic assassins with generic backstories. Merlin stifled a sigh, leaning closer to listen. 

"Not this time," the first voice grumbled. "The Prince's manservant - don't tell me you've never heard of him? The boy's apparently completely dedicated. He'll have tasted all the food beforehand." 

Merlin winced. He did, in fact, test Arthur's food for poison whenever he brought it up, though after the first four times he had actually found it and almost died, he had given up and learned a poison-tracing spell. He hadn't thought that other people would _know_ , though ...

"Ugh." There was a shuffling noise, and the sound of pacing. "What then? Poison was the best, it's usually untraceable ... oh! How about -" 

There were footsteps coming down the hallway. Fuck. 

Merlin tugged up a tiny thread of magic and boosted his vision, seeing around the corner and spotting a figure in a simple red tunic, walking down the hallway. Arthur. 

"You have horrible timing," he mumbled under his breath, glancing desperately between the two assassins and Arthur. He couldn't exactly run off and drag Arthur away, because Arthur would definitely start refusing loudly in that stupidly regal voice and alert the entire castle to his whereabouts, and Merlin wouldn't be able to figure out what those two assassins were up to. On the other hand, if he stayed where he was, Arthur would find him, start yelling orders at him anyway, and reveal his location, which _might_ end up in a full-blown fight and it was always so much harder for Merlin to hide his magic when he was busy blasting away a couple of assassins. 

Oh, well. There was only one option left. 

"Drat," he muttered. "καθρέφτης." 

Merlin no. 3 fizzled into existence next to him, and gave him a quick thumbs up. Thank goodness for the fact that all the Merlins shared memories. Merlin sighed, and silently ran off towards Arthur, leaving Merlin no. 3 crouched behind the door, listening in on the assassins' plans. 

Arthur gave him an odd look when Merlin ran past him, dragging him down the corridor away from the scene. 

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" he had said, amused. Merlin shushed him furiously, not speaking until they were completely out of the castle. 

"No reason," he replied breathlessly. Arthur quirked an eyebrow, but said nothing more. 

Merlin no. 3 managed to sneak up to Gaius' rooms an hour later, reporting back to Merlin Original about what the assassins planned to do. It had been a strange sight - three identical Merlins, sitting in a circle on Merlin's bed, discussing assassination plots and magic. In the end, the two assassins had been clumsy enough to only need a minor sabotage on Merlin's part, and they were arrested and sentenced before lunchtime. 

Unfortunately, Arthur decided to celebrate another avoided assassination attempt by giving Merlin even more chores to do, and seeing as they were physically impossible to do before sundown, it was only logical for Merlin to use his two extra clones to his advantage, right? 

Wrong.

Merlin, staggering slightly under the weight of two different sets of armour, bumped into Lancelot in the west wing of the castle. Lancelot froze, staring at him. 

"Wait," he said, looking at him suspiciously and placing a hand on his sword. "I swear I just saw you in the kitchens like, twenty seconds ago." 

Oops. 

"Um," said Merlin, "So ... I may have done something stupid." 

Lancelot sighed, lowering his weapon. "What did you do now, Merlin?" 

"Don't look at me like that, I had a bad enough scolding from Gaius already ..." 

Luckily, Lancelot covered for him flawlessly and Merlin managed to lug the two sets of armour up to Arthur's chambers and dump them unceremoniously on his bed. 

The guard outside Arthur's door frowned quizzically at him. "Weren't you meant to be out in the forest, gathering herbs? I saw Sir Derek following you when you went outside ..." 

Merlin paled. 

"Uh -" 

Then, miraculously, the guard's face lit up with understanding. 

"Oh," he said, dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "You did something with your ... didn't you? Don't worry, I'll cover for you. Go and do your thing." 

To illustrate, the guard wiggled his fingers and mimed a small explosion. Merlin stared at him in bafflement. The guard sighed. 

"Magic, Merlin," he said, and Merlin let out an undignified squeak. 

"What? No, that's - that's ridiculous, magic, me? Ha, that's funny, I would never -" 

So, apparently Merlin hadn't been as subtle as he thought. 

_I just have to last until midnight_ , Merlin thought desperately. _Midnight, and then Merlin 2 and Merlin 3 will disappear and everything will be alright again._

Everything was not alright. Since one assassination attempt per day wasn't enough for destiny, Merlin just _had_ to run into a knight who wasn't actually a knight but a mercenary, plotting to kill the king. 

He watched in horror, hidden inside the broom cupboard in the armoury, as the mercenary took out a sword that glowed sickly green with a muttered spell. 

"Today will be Uther's last," the mercenary finished grimly, after helpfully recounting his entire life story and motives to the empty armoury. Personally, Merlin thought the villain monologue was a little unnecessary, but at least he knew that Uther was the target this time, not Arthur. He could probably just get Merlin no. 2 to keep an eye on Arthur throughout the day, while Merlin no. 3 and Merlin Original figured out how to reveal this mercenary and get him arrested. 

Yes. That was a good plan. Everything would work out fine. 

Everything did not work out fine. It was Arthur's fault. 

"Let's go on a hunt today, Merlin!" Arthur had yelled, and Merlin scowled. 

"Do we have to?" 

"That wasn't a question, Merlin. Get my horses ready, will you?" 

Merlin stomped down to the armoury. This certainly put a damper on things. He couldn't very well explain how he was seen saving the king's life, in the castle, when he was meant to be out in the forests with Arthur, hunting. 

"Alright," he said to Merlin no. 2. "Um. You go with Arthur, keep him busy - but make sure to come back before midnight, it'll be awkward if you suddenly disappear into thin air in front of him." 

"Great," mumbled Merlin no. 2. "Sure. Send me out to keep his royal pratness company while he murders innocent animals and makes me skin them. You two have fun saving the kingdom." 

Merlin waved him off, and turned to Merlin no. 3. "Okay, we need to stay here and do something. As much as Uther is a dick, we can't just let him die, so ... how are we meant to reveal the mercenary without being seen?" 

"We can't very well avoid the entire castle," Merlin no. 3 agrees seriously. "Even if the guards and Lancelot cover for us ..." 

"You can hide in the stables," a voice piped up, and Merlin Original and Merlin no. 3 shrieked. A stablehand was peering over the door, chewing on a piece of straw. He didn't seem the slightest bit unruffled at the sight of two identical Merlins. 

"Wha -" 

"You're really not very subtle with your magic," the stablehand added. "Go off and save the king, and we'll hide one of you in the stables with Lebryt. Nobody goes near Lebryt's stable, not even Uther." 

Merlin no. 3 shook his head disbelievingly. 

"Really?" 

The stablehand nodded cheerfully. "Yes. And is there any way of magicking away the horse poo? None of us can get close enough to muck out Lebryt's stables without him trying to bite us." 

Merlin no. 3's face fell, but he went anyway. Merlin Original heaved a sigh of relief. 

"Thank you," he stressed, and the stablehand blushed and waved it off. 

  
"Oh, no," groaned Merlin. 

It turned out there was two mercenaries, not just one. And they were rapidly approaching the throne room from two opposite directions. He could try and call Merlin no. 3, but he would take too long, and there was absolutely no way that Merlin would be trying that teleportation spell again (it went disastrously last time - he left half of himself behind and was stuck like that for hours until Kilgharrah found him, and the stupid bloody dragon laughed at him for an entire hour before reversing the spell). 

There really was no other option. 

"Someone out there hates me," complained Merlin under his breath, holding out his hand as his eyes flared gold. "καθρέφτης." 

Merlin no. 4 poofed into existence, looking around wildly before honing in on the second mercenary and taking off in his direction. Merlin Original sprinted down the opposite corridor, and there was a wild tussle where knives were thrown and spells casted, before Merlin finally managed to subdue his opponent. Triumphant, Merlin whooped, and looked up. 

Uther stared at him in shock. 

"Oops." Merlin scrambled to his feet, heart thumping rapidly in his chest. "Oh, no. Your Highness. I have a very good explanation -" 

" _Sorcery_!" Uther bellowed.

Merlin fled. 

It was honestly a miracle how Merlin managed to get through that day. There had been a wild goose chase all over the castle grounds and the lower town, where all the guards pretended that they couldn't see Merlin and the stablehands let loose a dozen horses to add to the chaos. Uther himself ended up running through the castle after Merlin no. 7 or 8, he couldn't remember which. Merlin, in his panic, created new clones at every turn - he created Merlin no. 5 when he ran into a dead end and needed someone to give him a leg up over the garden wall, he made Merlin no. 6 when he accidentally ran into Uther and needed to distract him by running off in two different directions at once, and Merlin no. 12 when he needed to use an excuse to lure the gaggle of nobles away so he could trick Uther into running back into the castle because Arthur and Merlin no. 2 would be returning at any time and it would be hard enough to deal with Uther. 

Merlin no. 27 burst into Gaius' chambers, red-faced and panting. 

"Help," he squeaked. Needless to say, Gaius almost had a heart attack. 

Miraculously, all the Merlins managed to escape and hide by the time Arthur came back. Gaius created a very elaborately detailed story to deliver to Uther. 

"It wasn't Merlin, sire," he explained patiently, while Uther stood in the room, red-faced and sword in hand. "You see, there was, um, a sorcerer who wanted to weaken the kingdom. To do that, he knew that he had to distract you, or you would surely have seen through his plan. I recognise the spell, sire - it ... uh ... takes whoever you last saw and made you see their face wherever you went. You have been chasing stablehands, servants, and knights all over Camelot, but not Merlin. Merlin has been out hunting with your son - you can ask him when he gets back." 

"What of the sorcerer?" Uther demanded. Gaius shrugged helplessly. 

"I heard Sir Lancelot ... chased him out of the kingdom?" 

Lancelot nodded solemnly, and Uther fumed. 

  
"I hope you learned your lesson, Merlin," Gaius told him sternly, after the king had left. Lancelot sat at the table and gave Merlin a look that was both sympathising and sorry-but-I-agree-with-Gaius. 

"I was just curious," Merlin retaliated, huffing. "It sounded like a cool spell! And, you know, with magic being banned and punishable by execution and all, I couldn't exactly ask for a demonstration ..." 

Shaking his head, Lancelot smiled wryly. "You were lucky that somehow the entire servant and guard population of Camelot knew about your magic. Otherwise even you might not have been able to get out of that." 

Gaius frowned. "Yes. About that ... what was it I said to you, Merlin, about being careful? Because, as you quite rightfully said, magic is banned and punishable by execution here." 

Merlin winced. 

"Sorry?" he tried. 

Neither Gaius nor Lancelot looked very impressed. 

Bonus: 

" _I_ should be the one complaining," complained Merlin to Lancelot later. "What right does _Gaius_ have to scold me about careful? He's the one who yells about magic all day! Do you have any idea how think the castle walls are? It's no wonder all the guards know, it's always _Merlin, hide your magic,_ or _Merlin, don't be stupid or Arthur will find out about your magic,_ and _Merlin, your magic is a secret to be kept at all costs -_ what did he think was going to happen?" 

"Hm," said Lancelot absently. "You have a point." 

Merlin sighed and flopped face-first into the laundry, wondering if he could somehow drown himself in dirty tablecloths. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have started learning A level content for school! i am suffering :') hope you enjoyed!


	4. State affairs (how to handle them the diplomatic way)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the rest of the kingdom (and all the neighbouring kings) react to Merlin's magic becoming public!

NOTE: This is set basically the day after Merlin's magic reveal!

Arthur was planning to have a lie in the next day - they'd almost died yesterday, so he thought he was entitled to a bit of extra sleep - but naturally, things didn't go to plan, and Merlin burst into his chambers at the crack of dawn. 

"Arthur," he scolded loudly, as the guards at the door peeked into the room to see what would happen. "What did you do?" 

Grumbling, Arthur pulled the covers up over his head and tried to go back to sleep. Merlin dragged him out of bed and tugged him over to the window. 

" _Look_ ," he said emphatically, and Arthur rubbed his eyes, stared down at the courtyard, and -

Oh. 

His brain stuttered to a halt, his jaw dropping at the sight of a multicoloured group of armoured men standing in the courtyard and yelling. He recognised the banners as belonging to the various kingdoms surrounding Camelot, and a couple of distant noble houses of his kingdom. 

"What -" 

Merlin seemed to be fighting back a grin. 

"Four kingdoms and sixteen noble houses showed up on our doorstep this morning," he said. "They've been asking to see you since they came. What did you do?" 

"I didn't do anything!" protested Arthur, flailing. Merlin yanked open his wardrobe and started tossing various formal garments at his face, which he barely managed to catch. "I just - is it about the messengers I sent yesterday?" 

"What messengers?" 

"Oh, you know - "There's a bloody big monster in our forest that's larger than our castle and we're probably going to die, so you might want to ready your armies in case if heads over to you next" - the usual?" 

One of the guards snorted, then quickly covered his mouth. Merlin narrowed his eyes. 

"Did you perhaps, by any chance, mention magic?" 

Why would he have mentioned magic, Arthur thought blearily, not realising that he was putting on his tunic backwards. His bed looked very warm and inviting, and it was the crack of dawn ... only Merlin used magic to protect the kingdom and defeat the monster ... 

"Oh," said Arthur, and went red. Merlin buried his face in his hands. 

  
"It seems to me," said King Badrick solemnly, "That you have utilised magic in your attempt to protect your kingdom." 

Arthur blanched. 

"Um," he said. "Yes? I didn't really utilise it, there was a sorcerer and he fought the monster of his own accord -" 

Across the table, Lord Cleavon leaned forward. 

"It really wouldn't do for a king to break his own laws," he suggested, in a rather unsubtle manner. Arthur tensed - he didn't think that the other kingdoms would have too many problems regarding the use of magic - his father, despite his deeply rooted hatred for all things supernatural, had probably-maybe-definitely used magic to his own advantage before, and the other kings hadn't moved against him then. If anything, he hadn't even been sure that Camelot's neighbours and lords shared Uther's stance on magic - whether they really saw it as a threat, or whether they simply went along with Camelot so they wouldn't anger her king. Lord Cleavon continued - "If I may, sire, I would recommend a slight change in the rules concerning ... magic." 

And if they decided to start a fight over this, Arthur would really be screwed - 

He processed what Lord Cleavon just said.

"What -" 

Lord Alexander nodded, clasping his hands together. "For the sake of people like Merlin, at least. Think of how easily you could protect your people if magic itself was on your side?" 

Arthur floundered. 

"Wait," he said. "I thought - Badrick, didn't my father sign a treaty with you that made magic illegal in both of our kingdoms?" 

King Badrick snorted, waving his hand. 

"Psh. I broke that ages ago." 

Merlin's shoulders shook with silent laughter, almost dropping the wine pitcher. Arthur shot him a confused look, before turning back to the table. 

"Wait," he said again. "You - you have been breaking the treaties -" 

"In all honesty, sire, they were sort of terrible treaties." Badrick didn't look apologetic at all. 

Suddenly, Arthur recalled what Lord Alexander had just said. 

_For the sake of people like Merlin ..._

"I didn't mention Merlin in my message," he said suspiciously, and Alexander suddenly developed a sudden interest in his wine goblet. "How did you know he had magic ...?" 

Merlin , his eyes going wide. For some reason, every other lord and king at the table studiously avoided Arthur's gaze. Arthur's jaw fell open. 

"You _all_ knew?" he said incredulously. 

One of the kings cleared his throat awkwardly, and hid his face behind his goblet. Arthur stared at them.

"Wow. Okay, then." 

"Sorry," Lord Godric said, not sounding very sorry. Arthur groaned. 

Still, he thought to himself, watching as Merlin chattered away happily to two of the noble lords (the pitcher of wine in his hand forgotten), he really didn't think he could have thought of a better outcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops i forgot to update for like three weeks   
> I still have more for this series! it's just sort of sitting half-finished on my computer lol   
> i haven't quite gotten over merthur yet so you can look forward to more soon!


	5. Lessons in Diplomacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AKA Merlin is surprisingly good at politics (or maybe that's just the fact that everyone in the five kingdoms would die for him)

Lesson 1: A King's Emotion

"This is bad," Arthur said glumly, staring at the bedraggled-looking messengers standing before him. "Are you sure they're about to go to war?" 

One of the messengers nodded wearily. "Certain, my lord. King Sadon does not take insults to his honour lightly. The armies are already assembling themselves." 

"Can't you help us, sire?" the other messenger pleaded. "None of us want to go to war over a nobleman's dispute, and the winters have not been kind to us - the king will take more taxes and we barely have enough to go on ..." 

Arthur sighed, and beside him, Merlin leaned forward, opening his mouth to suggest something.

"We can't intervene," Arthur said under his breath, already hating himself for saying it. "Our harvests have been bad, too. We can't risk Sadon trying to declare war on us too." 

Merlin frowned. 

"We can help the people," he insisted. "We have enough grain reserves to spare a few villages worth of food. Even if we don't intervene using our knights -" 

The two messengers looked on in befuddlement, seemingly shocked at the sight of the king discussing political matters with a servant. The guards on either side of them struggled to keep the proud smirks off their faces, and had it been a less dire situation, Arthur would probably have enjoyed the look on their faces. 

"We don't have enough," Arthur replied heavily. The words tasted bitter and heavy on his tongue - he was already trying to think of ways to help them, even indirectly - but state affairs was a delicate business, especially when the opponent was a king as war-happy as Sadon. "If Sadon doesn't declare war, we could help, but you know how quickly war drains resources. Camelot would fall to ruin. I can't risk my own people like that." 

Merlin fell silent, unable to find an answer, and fixed his gaze unhappily on the floor.

"I know King Sadon," he said a while later, thoughtfully. "I could talk to him, maybe, convince him that war isn't the best option ..." 

_Oh, no._

Arthur blanched. 

"No," he replied immediately. "Do not go riding into a war zone to talk with a foreign king. I forbid it." 

"It might work," Merlin argued, looking towards the guards for support. The guards gave him a thumbs-up, and he brightened. "Diplomacy might work best in this situation. Sadon isn't stupid, if we just show him how badly both kingdoms will end up because of a petty fight -" 

One of the messengers spluttered. "Petty fight -?" 

" _No_ ," said Arthur again firmly, and Merlin crossed his arms. They glared at each other for a few seconds - Merlin's familiar stubborn wilfulness battling silently against Arthur's kingly exasperated concern - and naturally, Arthur started to waver in a matter of minutes. He slumped in his throne before remembering that he was a king and pulling himself up into a more dignified position. 

"Maybe." 

Merlin changed tactics in a flash, and his stubborn scowl shifted into a pleading look. Arthur crumbled.

"Fine," he grumbled. "Do it your way. But you're taking at least ten guards with you." 

_Come back safe._

Arthur pretended not to see Merlin high-fiving the guard next to him before running out of the throne room, the two messengers staring incredulously after him. 

_"He left without any guards??"_

"I wouldn't bother, Princess," said Gwaine, appearing out of nowhere and slapping Arthur so hard on the back he almost fell over. "He's probably already halfway out of Camelot already. Sadon would see the guards as a threat, and anyway, it's in Merlin's nature to sneak off and do noble things behind your back, yeah?" 

Arthur sagged. "It's also in his nature to almost die a lot while doing that."

Gwaine guffawed, seeming completely at ease. "I'll tell him you're worried. Merlin can handle himself just fine. He's able to tear holes in space-time to different dimensions, remember?" 

  
"King Sadon has agreed to withdraw his troops!" the messenger cried, bursting into the throne room without warning several days later. Arthur almost dropped his wine goblet as Merlin stumbled into the throne room after the wild-looking messenger, mud on his shirt, his hair windswept and a wide grin on his face. He looked as if he had run all the way through the lower town and up the castle just to bring the news.

"How on earth did you manage that?" 

Modestly, Merlin cleared his throat, tried unsuccessfully to pat down his hair, and smiled with the air of a professional, experienced politician. "Diplomacy." 

Arthur narrowed his eyes, the worry starting to fade, replaced with amusement. "You started crying and Sadon felt guilty, didn't he?" 

"Um." Merlin averted his gaze. "No?" 

Lesson 2: Trust

Arthur was starting to forget what it felt like not to have a headache these days. 

It was getting tiring, constantly looking over his shoulder and expecting to see an assassin or a sorcerer, ready to murder him at a moment's notice. He was starting to think that maybe it would have been better if the anonymous tip about a traitor in his castle hadn't reached him after all - at least he would have been able to sleep properly at night, then. Lack of sleep made him cranky, and though he tried to hide it, there must be some sort of weird aura around him that alerted everyone in his proximity to his grumpy mood, because the royal household was on tenterhooks around him.

Even Merlin. Instead of waking him up every morning by yanking open the curtains and yelling at him for a few minutes, Merlin had started sneaking into his room a couple of minutes late and simply sprawling onto the bed next to him until he woke up. This particular method of waking him had the added bonus of a few extra minutes of sleep and the fact that he could ~~cuddle~~ be with Merlin for a while. 

"Are you not going to tell me what's bothering you yet?" said Merlin eventually, nibbling on the edge of a slice of apple he took from Arthur's untouched breakfast. "The entire castle knows something's wrong. There's rumours you've been put under a spell." 

"I'm not under a spell," Arthur replied automatically. As if anyone could get close enough to enchant him, with Merlin insisting on protecting him (and the entirety of Camelot insisting on protecting Merlin). Merlin raised an eyebrow. 

"That's exactly what you would say if you were under a spell, though, isn't it?"

It was a feeble attempt at a joke, but Arthur cracked a smile anyway. Merlin grinned back. 

"I won't ask. But - you can trust people here, you know. Hold a meeting. The knights, some lords and nobles you trust - peasants, if you have to. Tell someone. It's not weak to ask for help." 

"I know that," said Arthur slowly. It had been one of the many things Merlin had nagged him into learning. "It's more of a matter of trust. And - well, being sure whether or not they're a traitor to Camelot?" 

Merlin stared at him, his brow furrowed. 

"So there's a traitor somewhere?" 

Arthur nodded glumly, picking at the chunk of bread on his plate. "I got an anonymous tip. It makes sense, as well, considering how almost every one of our patrols ended up getting ambushed, even though we changed the times and positions in secret." 

Ambushing patrols was one thing - they came back unharmed, for the most part. His knights were well-trained - the biggest injury had been a shallow sword cut to the thigh. But if the enemy could find out about his patrols so easily, it wouldn't be so hard for them to find out enough about Camelot's defences and stage an attack based on the citadel's weaknesses. 

Merlin huffed. "Okay, that settles it. We're having a meeting." 

  
Arthur addressed the solemn-looking group of people before him gravely. 

"I have called you all here today because you are the only people I can trust with this delicate matter. We need to figure out how to find the traitor and apprehend them before they can uncover Camelot's defences or ignite another war." 

He hadn't gathered many people - there were a few of his trusted knights, a couple of nobles, and, of course, Merlin and Gwen. He couldn't risk spreading the word of a traitor, or it might alarm the enemy and cause them to attack or flee. 

Truthfully, he still felt uneasy about this. He's seen one too many betrayals happen close to home, and even with Merlin besides him, he can't trust himself enough. If he gives his trust to the wrong person again, if his kingdom suffers another blow because of his own foolishness ...

Gwen spoke first, surprising the other nobles at the table. 

"Well, that's easy," she said brightly, and Arthur blinked. "Just do what you did here!" 

"... Which is?" he said hesitantly. 

Another noble recovered quickly from the surprise and nodded eagerly. "She's right, sire. You trust us to be here because Merlin trusts us, right? I mean, I've only met you like, once, when you were two years old. But Merlin knows me!" 

"Exactly!" Lancelot clapped his hands. "Just follow Merlin around town, observe who he interacts with, and if anyone doesn't immediately look at him with hearts in their eyes, they're probably the traitor." 

Arthur snorted. "What? No, that's ridiculous." 

He ended up doing it anyway, and they found the traitor in ten minutes. Merlin raised an eyebrow at his stunned look, and Arthur did his best to ignore the knights and nobles' knowing smiles. 

Lesson 3: Bandits have connections

  
_Honestly_ , thought Arthur, as he tumbled off his horse and drew his sword in a panic, he really should do something about all these bandits. It was becoming quite a problem. 

"Bandits!" yelled Gwaine, several seconds too late. He drew his sword out of the scabbard, and accidentally tangled it up in his cloak and spent a few moments trying to tug it loose. Leon started attacking the nearest rogue, and Percival, who didn't have time to get his sword, reached up and simply punched one of them. It knocked them out cold. 

"I thought you said there weren't any bandits on this road?" Lancelot huffed, parrying a bandit's attack and hitting him over the head with the hilt of his sword. Arthur rolled his eyes, ducking under a poorly-timed blow and swiping at the bandit's exposed body. 

"I'm sorry I don't have magical distance vision!" he shouted back, somewhat annoyed. The bandit keeled over at his feet, and Arthur backed up towards his horse, scanning the scene. His knights were easily battling the bandits, who had numbers but little skill, and Merlin - 

"Don't move!" 

\- ah. There he was. Held in front of the bandit leader, the bandit's sword at his throat. 

Arthur blinked. 

_Wait -_

"Don't move," the leader said again, "or I'll cut his throat." 

The knights froze. Arthur fought the urge to raze the entire forest to the ground, and turned slowly, facing the leader. The bandit stared at them wildly. 

"Drop your swords. Now." 

Nobody moved. 

The bandit's arm shook slightly, and the sword wavered dangerously close to Merlin's neck. Arthur's hand spasmed momentarily at the sight, and he let the sword slip from his fingers, clattering onto the ground. The knights swiftly followed, a sort of murderous fire in their eyes that would have normally concerned Arthur, if it were not for the fact that he was pretty sure that he had the same look in his own eyes. 

From the bandit's grip, Merlin gave him an amused look, not looking the faintest bit scared. 

"You don't want to do this," said Lancelot carefully, holding his hands in the air. The normally placating gesture was undermined by the fact that Lancelot looked like he wanted to kill the man a thousand times over in the most painful ways possible. "This isn't the answer -" 

"Shut up." 

Leon tried a different tactic. "That's the king's manservant you're holding. Don't think you can get away with harming him. If you let him go now, the king will go easy with your punishment." 

"I don't care!" 

"Gods, he's stubborn," Gwaine said, frowning. "Look, mate, just give us Merlin and we promise we won't tear out your guts and chop off your -"

Arthur watched in befuddlement as the bandit leaders squeaked. 

"Mer - did you say Merlin?" 

Merlin laughed, relaxing. The bandit dropped the sword like it burnt him. 

"Randall. You still remember me?" 

The bandit went several hilarious shades of green. Arthur fought back the sudden urge to start laughing at the sight. 

"Oh my god. _Oh my god_ \- I - holy fuck, Merlin, I am _so sorry_ -" 

Bewildered, the knights watched on as the bandit's leader fell into a blubbering apologetic mess, falling to his knees in front of Merlin and crying into his jacket. Merlin seemed highly amused by it all, chatting away to the bandit - Randall - and seemingly having forgotten completely about the fact that he was held at swordpoint only seconds ago. Arthur didn't know whether to freak out or to laugh at it all.

(He felt like doing both.)

  
Before he knew it, they were setting up camp with the bandits and sharing stories over the campfire and passing around jugs of mead and dried beef, with Merlin happily conducting the odd gathering from the centre. 

Leon stood awkwardly at the edge of the camp, his hand hovering nervously over the hilt of his sword. 

"Do I ... attack?" he asked, confused. Arthur sighed. 

"I don't even know anymore. Do you want some wine?" 

Leon glanced at the group huddled around the campfire, where Gwaine was performing a particularly dramatic retelling of one of his many bar fights with the help of the bandit he knocked out. The small group were roaring with laughter. 

"Sure, sire." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> arthur: there's a traitor somewhere in our midst.... they're plotting with morgana to overthrow our kingdoms and establish a terrible reign of evil.... who can't we trust....  
> lancelot: anyone who doesn't love merlin, idk


	6. Masquerade Adventures Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur holds a masquerade ball, some assassins decide to attend, and Merlin did not ask for this to happen, Arthur has a gay panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Okay, I searched this up and apparently masquerade balls only became a thing in the 14th and 15th centuries, and Merlin is set in like, the 4th or 5th century, but for the sake of plot, I'm going to choose to ignore that. Enjoy ^^)  
> (ps. Apparently, a few people have carried out assassinations in masquerade balls before. That was pretty interesting to read about on wikipedia, lol.)
> 
> Part two will be coming soon!!

"I told you!" Merlin cried, throwing himself dramatically onto Arthur's bed. "I said it, didn't I? I explicitly said, _Arthur, don't hold a masquerade ball, that's literally asking for assassins to try and kill you_ , and you said _Merlin, don't tell me what to do!_ And look what happened!" 

Arthur pretended not to hear him, sitting down on the other side of the bed. 

"Oh, right. An assassin is coming to the masquerade ball! _Two_ assassins, even! Maybe even three! Who knows? Maybe all the guests will be assassins, and we wouldn't know, because it's a masquerade ball and everyone's wearing _masks_ -" 

Arthur threw a pillow at Merlin's face ( _gently_ ) to shut him up. 

"We know who's going to come," he said patiently, as Merlin sat up and hugged the pillow angrily to his chest. "It's not like just anyone can come in through those doors. And it's unlikely that an assassin can kill a noble without anyone else finding out and alerting me, is it?" 

Merlin huffed. 

"They could kill a noble right before they enter. Unless they find the body, nobody would be able to tell them apart from the real person. And then where would we be?" 

Arthur struggled to concentrate on the serious matters at hand (it was very difficult, when faced with a petulantly annoyed Merlin. His expressions made Arthur's heart feel funny things and made it difficult to focus.) He had, of course, thought of the potential risks with holding a masquerade ball - but the risk of an assassination was rather low. Camelot's guards weren't useless (when they weren't cooing over Merlin) and honestly, the risk of a group of nobles insulting each other and brawling was probably higher than a successful assassination. 

"It'll be fine, Merlin," he said easily. "Besides, you'd be there. You can keep an eye out for the suspicious-looking assassins." 

"Obviously," Merlin replied, his voice muffled by the pillow. A few seconds ticked by, and Arthur waited patiently for Merlin to process what he'd just said. 

Merlin startled. 

"Wait. You mean - I'll be there as a servant, or -" 

He looked at the smug look on Arthur's face, and paled. 

"Oh. Oh, no. Arthur, you are not dragging me to that ball. Just let me go as a servant -" 

Arthur failed miserably to hold back his grin. "No can do. The servants go unmasked, and these particular servants' faces are already known to most of the nobles. You'd stick out like a sore thumb." 

"I'll kidnap one of them and use a transformation spell -" 

"You don't know any," said Arthur, laughing. He completely missed the way Merlin's eye twitched at his statement, and continued talking. 

"There's another problem, too. There's going to be a lot of noble lords, but they tend to keep to themselves, and they're also well known, so even if you're masked, they'd recognise that your voice is unfamiliar. You'd have a hard time tracking the assassin if you go as a noble." 

Merlin stared at him, baffled. "What do you want me to do, then?" 

Carefully, Arthur placed a hand on his chin and looked at Merlin with a feigned expression of contemplation. 

"You know, we never threw away Morgana's dresses ..." 

Merlin looked at him in horror. 

  
Gwen clapped her hands in delight, her eyes sparkling. 

"Oh, Merlin, you look lovely! I definitely picked the right dress, the blue really brings out your eyes - here, wear this bracelet, it matches your outfit -" 

Merlin watched helplessly as Gwen bustled around, draping different combinations of necklaces and bracelets on him while chatting happily about colours and textures and social dress codes. Dresses were this complicated? How did the noble ladies keep track of what colour meant what? Why did a certain type of cloth signify something different to another type of cloth? 

There were some times when he was glad he was a servant. Having two sets of identical clothing was definitely much easier than having to do social gymnastics when choosing what to wear every day. 

But, still ... 

"I still don't think this is a good idea," he said feebly. Gwen didn't seem to hear him, now busily creating some sort of elaborate braided hairstyle with the wig on his head. Sighing, he sat down and accepted his fate. He supposed there were worse things that could have happened ... it wasn't like he had much dignity to begin with, even with his status as the supposedly "most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth". When Gwaine had discovered his druidic title and status, it had been a nightmare. It was always "Hey, most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, could you show me how to fix my boot buckle again?" and "Come and have a drink with us, most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth!" or even "Ah, Lord so-and-so, this is King Arthur, this is his first knight Leon, and this is the royal servant, Most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth!" (Admittedly, the bewildered reaction of the lord had been worth the embarrassment.)

There was a knock on the door, breaking him out of his thoughts. Merlin looked up to see a guard poke his head inside, looking around. 

"Merlin, the king wants me to tell you that the ball starts in half an hour, and that you should - Merlin?" 

The guard looked around the room in bafflement. His eyes swept over Gwen and the fancy-looking noble lady in the chair, and he frowned when he didn't see the familiar figure of a manservant in a thin brown jacket and neckerchief.

"Where's Merlin?" 

Gwen let out a delighted laugh. 

"Well, now we know that the disguise works! Merlin, let's go - oh, whoops, it's probably hard to walk in a dress, let me show you the special super-secret Camelot-exclusive technique -" 

Merlin stared at her, aghast. 

"There's a _what_?" 

Arthur lingered at the doors, half-heartedly greeting the noblemen and ladies as they brushed past him into the hall. He'd only been standing there for a few minutes, but there were so many people ... really, Merlin might have had a point when he had said that masquerade balls were practically asking for an assassination attempt ... not that he was going to tell him. Even though the masks were decorative, and at best only covered the top part of the face, it was enough to force him to squint for a good few seconds to try and make out the person underneath it. And there were so many guests, it would be hard to tell if someone wasn't supposed to be there or not. 

Besides him, Gwen patted his arm sympathetically, a pitcher of wine in her hand. 

"Merlin will be here soon," she said brightly. "He'll blend right in, don't worry, I've used all my skill as a maidservant to dress him up." 

Arthur nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe I should commission a painting of us afterwards ... Merlin in a dress, I'd want to preserve that moment for years ... it wouldn't be a problem, will it? I don't want to end up laughing all the way through the ball, it might tip off the assassin -" 

Gwen was summoned by another lord a few minutes later, and hurried away after wishing Arthur luck.

By the time she returned, however, Arthur's expression had completely changed. 

"Call off the plan." 

"... What?" 

"The _plan_ ," Arthur stressed, looking panicked in a way that made Gwen almost drop her pitcher. "Call it off. I can't do it." 

"I - wait, Arthur - why?" 

With an almost hilarious distressed expression on his face, Arthur glanced over his shoulder to the newest guest - a slim figure in a sapphire-blue dress, face half-hidden by an elegant mask with gold embroidery and dark curls spilling over one shoulder. The skin peeking out from under the dress seemed almost marble-white in comparison, looking more like a sculpture created by a foreign master than a noble lady. 

Of course, it wasn't a noble lady, but Merlin in disguise.

"He's - he's too _pretty_ ," Arthur wailed, despairing. "Guinevere, I literally can't stop looking at him - I won't be able to pay attention to any assassins -"

Flustered, Gwen looked around and snagged the nearest sensible knight, Lancelot (because as much as she loved the knights of the Round Table like her own family, there were certain things - such as emotional and romantic sensitivity - that she probably wouldn't entrust them with) and dragged him over. 

Lancelot listened carefully to Arthur's stammering for some time, and turned to Gwen with a serious expression. 

"Looks like we're doomed."


	7. Masquerade Adventures Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin's fan group gains another hundred members and a bard decides to write a ballad about a sorcerer in a dress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not expect that many comments on part one I actually love you guys ;;  
> I had actually already finished part two before I posted part one but there were so many amazing ideas in the comments so I ended up making it almost twice as long as it originally was haha   
> Enjoy :)

  
Once it began, the plan seemed to work well - after all, Arthur hadn't spent those nights meeting with his trusted knights and servants (and sorcerer) in various secret meeting places around the castle to discuss the assassins in vain. It only took ten minutes for Merlin to pick out an odd energy coming off two of the guests - they were laughing and drinking and dancing like everyone else, but they seemed oddly ... tense? He wasn't sure how to describe it. Merlin casually slipped through the crowd towards where Arthur was standing in the corner (why was he standing so still?) and offered his hand for a dance. 

Arthur stared at him blankly for a few seconds before remembering what he was supposed to do and guiding Merlin towards a more crowded area of the hall, where their conversation would be drowned out by the noise.

"- and like I said _before_ you decided to put me in a dress," Merlin was whispering heatedly, "I don't know half of these nobles because I'm still technically a servant. Can you ask one of the knights to make sure? I think Leon's closest, he has a list of the guests and their descriptions - Arthur? Arthur, are you listening?" 

Arthur, now that he looked closely, was acting rather strangely. Despite his endless teasing before the ball, he hadn't said a single word ever since Merlin came up to him. His face had also turned rather red.

Merlin frowned. Was there something wrong? 

"Arthur," he pressed, leaning a little closer. 

Arthur cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Um," he replied quickly, his voice oddly high-pitched. "Yes. Of course. Continue." 

Quirking an eyebrow, Merlin waited for him to say something else. When Arthur didn't say another word, Merlin shrugged, and carried on. 

  
At the side of the hall, Lancelot sighed and buried his face in his hands. Beside him, Gwen was struggling not to laugh, the corners of her lips twitching as she clutched the flagon of wine. 

"Is he doing that on purpose?" Lancelot wondered out loud. "Surely he knows ..." 

"I don't think he knows," replied Gwaine gleefully. "Oh, Merlin ..."

The three of them watched, half in despair and half in amusement, as Arthur and Merlin glided around the dance floor, looking like the personification of a perfect noble couple. Merlin was repeatedly leaning closer to whisper more information about the nobles he'd tested, but he seemed to be miraculously unaware of the effect it was having on Arthur. 

"That's - that's literally full-blown _flirting_ ," Lancelot said despairingly. "Look - if you look at it from a different angle, you could mistake them to be kissing - they're barely two inches apart - look at Arthur, he's going as red as a tomato -"

Merlin was continuing to relay his report, seemingly unaware of the fact that his words were going into one of Arthur's ears and going out the other. 

Gwen hurriedly put her pitcher of wine down on the table before she dropped it from laughter.

  
Thankfully, somewhere along the line, Leon was alerted of the king's plight and politely asked Merlin for a dance, whisking him away to the other side of the hall before Arthur lost his mind and did something to alert the assassins.

"Oh," said Merlin brightly, "Sir Leon! I was looking for you. Um - is something wrong with Arthur? He seemed a bit out of it when I tried to talk to him ..."

Leon glanced over to where Arthur was standing, surrounded by the fussing knights and a flustered looking Gwen. He could see the redness of his blush even from here. He sighed. 

"Arthur will be fine," he said doubtfully. "Anyway, Merlin - the assassins?"

"Ah, of course. The ones I found suspicious were -"

  
Miraculously, the collective efforts of all the knights and servants of Camelot managed to get Arthur's gay panic under control long enough for the plan to be put into action. 

(It may or may not have included Gwaine taking the nearest goblet of wine and throwing it in Arthur's face when nobody was looking.)

It only took ten minutes for Leon to confirm that they didn't quite match the descriptions of the nobles they were meant to be. Arthur began a polite conversation with one of them, cautiously and casually referenced an incident during one noble's last visit to Camelot (which he made up on the spot) and when the noble laughed and seemed to perfectly recall the incident that never actually happened, Arthur drew his sword. 

"Take off your mask." 

The nobleman's laughter froze on his face, and the lively chatter of the guests started to die out rapidly. 

"Ah - sire, I don't think -" 

"Take it off and reveal your identity, or I'll run you through." 

The hall was smothered in dead silence. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lancelot shifting ever so slightly to shield Guinevere and a few other noble ladies hiding behind him, his hand already on his sword. Good. 

The nobleman - or should he say, assassin - didn't move for a few, long seconds. 

There was another assassin, Arthur thought belatedly. The one in front of him wasn't the only one - he couldn't take his eyes off him, just in case something happened, but where was the other one -? 

Oh, okay, the assassin's lunging at him with a knife. Arthur hurriedly dodged, pushing the thought from his mind. It was no big deal, surely - the assassin here was actually rather incompetent. It would only take him a few more seconds to disarm him -

Naturally, it was at that moment that the second assassin decided to show up. 

One of the noblemen suddenly whipped out his hand, yelled something in an indecipherable language, and a massive fireball roared into existence, drowning out the terrified shrieks of the guests. Arthur's parried the assassin's blow and looked on in horror - he couldn't stop that, he was too far away, and even if he was close by there was nothing he could do against a ball of fire that threatened to engulf the whole room -

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of blue. 

Arthur tripped over thin air and almost fell flat on his face, barely managing to keep the assassin at bay. 

"You're so fucked," he said to the bewildered assassin happily, attacking with a renewed vigour. Merlin was standing like some sort of avenging angel in the centre of the room, hands outstretched, cascades of dark hair and blue fabric fluttering around him, and the fireball exploded into a million harmless pieces of light with a single word from his lips. The second assassin froze, staring in shock - and consequently didn't notice Gwaine sneaking up behind him with a wooden stool. 

With a resounding thud, the magic-wielding assassin was knocked out cold. Arthur swiftly sent the sword flying from the first assassin's hands, and within seconds, the guards were rushing in to apprehend the floundering man. 

As the two assassins were dragged away, Arthur lowered his sword, locked eyes with the slightly breathless Merlin, and suddenly remembered that they were in the middle of a hall filled with nobles from all over the kingdom. 

Oh. 

Oh, no. 

They technically hadn't legalised magic yet. It was still in the final stages of confirmation. And the majority of the people in this room were nobles from other kingdoms - kingdoms with different laws than Camelot. Even some of the Camelot nobility disagreed with his decision to overturn the law, preferring instead to hold on to their beliefs they held during the Purge - that all magic was inherently evil. 

Merlin just showed them a massive display of magic. 

Arthur started to panic. A hundred different scenarios, all as disastrous as the last, start flashing through his mind at lightning speed. What if the nobles riot? What if they start clamouring and dragging Merlin off to be executed and he can't stop them? Most of the guards had already left, taking the assassins to the dungeons, and Arthur was only one person? What if they all declare war on Camelot? What if this was the assassins' plan all along? 

Just as Arthur was about to start freaking out, one of the noblemen throws his mask into the air and starts cheering. 

Arthur's mind stuttered to a halt. 

"Lady! Lady, that was awesome!" 

"Hey, miss, have you ever thought of becoming a court sorcerer?" 

"Do that again! Do that again!" 

Gwen was covering her mouth, eyes shining. Arthur looked on, flabbergasted, as Merlin was swamped by a crowd of happily shouting nobles who started showering him in praise. (One of the noble ladies swooned.) 

"Ah," he said awkwardly, fiddling with the bracelet Gwen put on him. "Um. My lords, I think there might have been a misunderstanding -" 

There was a clatter that caught his attention. One of the noblemen (he couldn't see clearly through the mask, but it looked suspiciously like Lord Alexander, who Arthur was _sure_ he hadn't invited) dropped his goblet in shock.

"No way," he cried, in a manner unbefitting of a noblelord. "Is that Merlin?" 

The hall fell into silence for the second time, and for the second time, Arthur's stress skyrocketed through the roof once again.

"Merlin?" 

" _Arthur's_ Merlin?" 

"Ah, the court warlock? Wait, he's here?" 

Gwaine stumbled over to the centre of the room, and raised his goblet. 

"Toast to the sorcerer in a dress!" he yelled, and the hall once again erupted into cheers. 

"I am never doing that again," said Arthur heavily, staggering out of the hall several minutes later. The shock and stress of Merlin's several consecutive magic reveals was finally catching up to him, and his legs were wobbling around like a newborn fawn's. Leon grabbed his arm and pulled him upright, patting him on the shoulder comfortingly.

"Well, it all went well, didn't it?" 

"Fuck. I almost had a heart attack - I don't have an heir, Leon, what will happen to my kingdom if I die of a heart attack in my twenties because of Merlin?" 

Leon shrugged, looking far too unconcerned. "Camelot will be fine, sire. We won't let it fall." 

The burst open once again, along with a sudden surge of noisy cheering, and Merlin ran out, hitching his dress up over his ankles using the special super-secret Camelot-exclusive technique that Gwen had taught him. His cheeks were flushed, and the wig was slipping off slightly, and his gloves were somewhat singed from the fireball he stopped hours earlier. Arthur thought he looked beautiful.

"Arthur! Arthur, they're writing a epic about me!" 

Arthur stared at him, his mind too exhausted to process any more shock. "... What?" 

"They're thinking of calling it 'The sorcerer in a dress'," Lancelot said solemnly from next to him. "It's going to be the biggest hit in town, I hear." 

"... _What_."

"That was actually fun," Merlin continued breathlessly, tugging off the wig and running a hand through his hair, making it stick up in all directions. "We should hold more balls in the future! Without masquerade masks, of course, I don't want there to be any more assassins - did you see their faces when I stopped the fireball? And Alex was here too - I swear he wasn't on the list, though? Anyway - Arthur? Hey, Arthur, are you alright?" 

Arthur's legs gave out, and Leon grunted with the effort of holding him up. 

"No," he said honestly. "Next time you reveal yourself in front of a crowd of potentially hostile people, warn me next time?" 

"Ah." Merlin had the decency to look guilty for a few moments, then laughed brightly. 

EXTRAS:

"M-may I ask you for a dance, miss?" 

"Lady, can I just say how beautiful you look tonight -" 

"It would be my honour to have a dance with you, my lady!"

Merlin blinked, gaping silently at the small crowd of nobles, both male and female, who had at some point clustered around him and were looking at him eagerly. He fiddled nervously with the bracelet on his wrist. He hadn't expected so many people to actually come up and ask him to dance! He knew this was a ball, but still - 

"Ah," he started hesitantly, feeling his face heat up. "Um - that's - I mean -" 

"Please marry me!" squeaked one of the visiting noble's servants, going bright red, and Merlin despaired.

"That's Merlin! _Merlin_! Do you think I could ask him for a dance before he leaves?" 

"Are you an idiot? The king would kill you!" 

"I don't think so - look at him, he's too busy having a gay panic, he wouldn't notice even if his castle fell down. Go for it!" 

"You think so?"

"Duh. Look at his majesty, he just tripped over the table and face-planted into a dish of fruit - I think you're safe, mate."


	8. How to deal with knights (a guide by a very tired and annoyed warlock)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and the knights argue like five year olds and Merlin is done with their shit

There was only one downside to not being at war against an overwhelmingly powerful evil magic army of sorcerers and corrupt nobles, in Merlin's opinion. That downside was that in place of one vast life-or-death problem, a million smaller problems rose up to fill its place.

And those million smaller problems were driving him mad.

He let out a deep sigh, head thumping onto the desk. In front of him, Arthur almost didn't seem to notice, still heatedly rambling on about the newest knight, who apparently had no respect, no willingness to work hard, too much arrogance, and a host of other problems that seemed uncannily similar to the ones Merlin distinctly remembered Arthur having when they first met. (He didn't say this, of course.) 

"- and then he just struts around like some oversized chicken, as if he's better than everyone! As if he's better than _me_! Can you believe that, Merlin?" 

Merlin blankly stared at him for a few moments. 

"Yeah," he said. "Um. Of course." 

Arthur completely missed Merlin's glazed-over eyes, continuing his rant. 

"Right? And then, yesterday, he -" 

In the end, after four hours of rambling which went into one ear and out the other, Merlin used his elbow to knock over the flowerpot next to him, and quickly fussed over it, standing up and cleaning it up and promptly escaping. 

  
"They're so petty," Merlin groaned, and Lancelot shot him a sympathetic look as he patted his back. 

"I suppose it is a bit unnecessary -" 

"Honestly, who cares if some new knight shows up and beats him? It's just one knight, what's the problem? Isn't it good if we have more strong soldiers? And they argue over the smallest things -" 

Lancelot tried to take the flask of ale out of Merlin's hands. "Yes, well -" 

"Are they both children? They're acting like five-year-olds, even the toddlers in Ealdor are more mature than those two big-headed idiots -" 

Lancelot sighed and gave up. 

  
"Alright," said Merlin, yanking Arthur's armour straps sharply and cutting him off in the middle of his tirade. "This has been going on for long enough, you need to stop acting so childish and just suck it up." 

Arthur gaped at him wordlessly, looking so insulted that Merlin would have found it hilarious if he hadn't been driven almost to the brink of madness by their actions.

"Suck it up? Merlin, he's insulting my honour -" 

"You - for heaven's sake, you tried to duel him to the death because he accidentally got some mud on your favourite breastplate!" 

Merlin had run around frantically for an hour, trying to stop the duel from actually happening and rushing to cover it up before any nobles or higher-ranking knights got the wind of it. It was exhausting, and the fact that both Arthur and the new knight had tried to start a brawl every time he wasn't looking only made it worse.

"It was a carefully calculated act of contempt, and if you can't see that then you're blind -" 

"What, because this is a knight's issue of honour that I can't understand since I'm just a servant?" 

Arthur looked flabbergasted. "Merlin, this is bigger than just -"

Merlin pulled off the armour as roughly as possible and shoved it into Arthur's arms before turning around and stomping out of the room.

Gwaine watched as Merlin stormed out of Arthur's bedchambers, a dark scowl on his face. He could vaguely make out the words the warlock was muttering under his breath. 

"- fine! Fine, stupid goddamn knights and their stupid useless honour - how about I turn all their swords into snakes that bite them every time they talk, how about that, how would you argue about your tiny insignificant knightly feelings then -" 

Suddenly, Gwaine didn't feel like pulling a prank on Merlin anymore. 

"Headache?" said Gwen sympathetically, and Merlin buried his face in his hands. 

"Several," he said unhappily. "Really, I'm even more stressed now than before." 

Sitting down in the chair next to him, Gwen patted his arm while handing him a steaming mug of barley tea. Merlin had taken refuge in her house after three hours of watching the unbearably loud ruckus that was the knight's training session. Arthur and the new knight had immediately started squabbling as soon as they walked onto the field, fighting over something petty. He already had a headache from all the problems he could tell they were going to cause.

Gwen smiled awkwardly. "I'm sure they'll get over it soon. You know how they're like - boys, you know?" 

"Gwen, I'm a boy." 

"Oh, no, I didn't mean - um. Knights, you know?" 

Merlin grinned tiredly. "It's okay. But - I don't know, I feel like they still don't consider how much trouble they're making? We're the ones who have to clean up afterwards, and we already have so much to do. And they're positively wonderful compared to some of those other lords - the entire kingdom knows I'm the most powerful warlock, right? Why do they keep treating me like some lowly servant who doesn't deserve to speak?" 

With a pitying look on her face, Gwen sighed. 

"It's not like they've ever been servants before, I suppose. It's hard for them to immediately understand - not that they're not trying, of course, I doubt there's been any noble ..." 

Suddenly, Gwen trailed off, a dawning look of realisation on her face. Merlin, however, was lying face-down on the table and didn't see her. 

Merlin stared at the golden dragon who was casually sharpening his claws on the side of the castle. 

"... what are you doing here?" 

Kilgharrah nodded majestically, flapping his wings and knocking over twenty training dummy in the process. 

"I sensed your anger, young warlock," he said serenely. "You must not succumb to the dark side. Your destiny -" 

"No," snapped Merlin immediately. How had the dragon even come into Camelot? Was there a loophole in his order to not come into the kingdom? Surely not, otherwise they were all in trouble and Merlin would have yet another thing to worry about and do damage control on. "No, do not talk to me about destiny again, haven't I already told you about how much trauma and mental scars your prophecies have inflicted on me and my friends by depriving us of happy childhoods and loving families and supportive communities and killing all the people I tried to get close to -" 

Looking rather affronted, Kilgharrah paused. 

"But -" 

" _No_!"

"Two halves of the same -" 

"If you don't fly away in ten seconds I'm going to turn your claws into cabbages." 

Kilgharrah wisely heeded his command, looking back in disappointment. 

Merlin clenched his fists, a deadly sort of aura rising off his body. 

"If one more person," he hissed, "If _one more person_ comes in and pisses me off, I'm going to destroy _everything_." 

Gaius slowly edged away from his nephew and closed the door. 

  
One more person came in and pissed Merlin off.

"- ah, Emrys! We -" 

"Magic is legalised in all the kingdoms and there hasn't been any unjust magic-related executions for the last four years _can you stop climbing in through my bedroom window at the crack of dawn to remind me about the stupid prophecy_ -!"

The druid squeaked in terror.

Gaius wisely ignored the sudden ominous rumbling coming from Merlin's room. 

"Merlin!" 

Lord Alexander waved at him, grinning brightly from on top of his horse. "It's been so long! How have you been?" 

Merlin sighed in response. Lord Alexander's grin faltered. 

"Oh," he said. "Um - where's Arthur?" 

"... don't know." 

One of Lord Alexander's eyebrows were twitching. 

"You don't ... know?"

Merlin didn't know where Arthur was? _Merlin_? The Merlin who was absolutely, completely besotted with and fussed over the crown-prince-now-king? Lord Alexander frowned. Was this Merlin an impostor? 

In front of him, Merlin let out another despondent sigh. The look was so pitiful that Alexander immediately got off his horse and slapped him on the back.

"Okay, you're upset. We need to do something about it." 

This only seemed to make Merlin more unhappy, recalling the stress of running around after the knights and Arthur and Kilgharrah and the druids and fixing all of the trouble they were stirring up.

"Nothing can cure these idiots of their stupidity, I've tried." 

Oh, dear. It was bad. 

The two of them stood in silence for a while. Alexander finally clapped his hands. 

"What if you were thinking about it the wrong way? Let's give up on curing the - the idiots of their stupidity. Let's make life living hell for them instead!" 

_Your highness, please don't banish me for calling you an idiot, I was only trying to cheer up your boyfriend._

Merlin's eyes slowly brightened, and Alexander only had a split second to think, _oh, maybe I shouldn't have said this to the most powerful warlock in existence_ , before Merlin started laughing.

  
After a week of suspiciously well-timed rat infestations, blades falling off practice swords, the knights' armour all somehow turning a bright shade of pink, water jugs falling from the ceiling whenever they walked by, and the dung heap mysteriously migrating to the spot underneath his window, Arthur's pride was sufficiently worn away. 

"I ... may have been a little hasty with my judgement," he mumbled. Merlin crossed his arms and looked at him. 

"Okay. I was wrong. I wasn't - I'm still not used to you being ... well, the most powerful warlock to ever exist, and I thought things would change between us if I were to just ... completely change the way we interacted, and I didn't want that, but then I ended up being an idiot and doing something completely different and I'm -"

A knight suddenly burst into the room, interrupting them both.

"Sire! Sire, t-the horses - the livestock - t-they're -" 

Alarmed, Arthur dashed over to the window and looked outside. He almost fell out of it in shock. 

" _Merlin_!" 

Merlin stole an apple from his bedside table and bit into it serenely, pretending not to notice the dozens of cattle and pigs and horses that had suddenly sprouted wings and were having the time of their lives flying over the castle battlements. 

  
"Okay, now you're just abusing your powers. I gave you complete freedom of magic to help the kingdom, not to move all the chickens into my bedchambers -"

"Oh, we're not done yet," said Merlin happily. He turned towards the door, where Gwen was standing with a pile of clothes in her hands. Arthur squinted at them both suspiciously. There didn't seem anything suspicious about those clothes - they were clean, if not a little threadbare, plain, obviously servant's clothes ... that looked just his size ... 

"Oh. Oh, no. No, you're not making me -"

"Yes," Gwen said immediately, and started wrestling him out of his armour. 

"This is horrible," Arthur grumbled under his breath, furiously polishing the silverware. "You all get higher wages. Is there no other way to do this?" 

"Not really, no," said Merlin, levitating an entire collection of spoons and cleaning them instantly with a wave of his hand. Arthur gaped at him wordlessly. Merlin pretended not to look at him, struggling to hide a grin. 

"There's nothing but hard, gruelling work in a servant's life," Gwen added pitifully, her hands flying deftly over the silverware with the speed and expertise of someone who's practised the same thing a thousand times. Her pile of cleaned cutlery was five times higher than Arthur's. 

Arthur looked down at the one fork he had been trying to polish for the last fifteen minutes, and sighed.

  
"Wait, why am I cleaning out the stables? We have stablehands to do this, that's what we hired them for -" 

Merlin gave him an unimpressed look. Arthur shifted nervously and tried to look like he didn't remember ordering Merlin to clean out his horse's stables every day since he got hired.

"... I will clean out the stables." 

"... Is that the king?" 

Lord Alexander cleared his throat and pretended not to see. Beside him, his squire was squinting suspiciously at the small crowd milling around the stables. They all seemed to be watching one particular servant who was shovelling the dirty hay onto a cart - a servant who seemed rather inept, going by how clumsily he handed the equipment. 

"My lord, I'm not seeing things, right? That definitely looks like the king ..." 

"There's lots of blond stablehands in this kingdom," said Alexander quickly. "And even if it was the king, I had nothing to do with him being there." 

His squire looked at him funny, and Alexander looked away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a bunch of ideas for the "Merlin gets pissed" prompts but as of now this is the only one I've actually mustered up the energy to finish so here you go ^^ If I remember how to write I might post another one! I still have more prompts for this collection lol

**Author's Note:**

> As promised, here are the little extras lol o(≧∇≦o)
> 
> If anyone has any ideas on what to write next, or if you want to see something in particular happen in the next fics, please feel free to comment them below! Quite a few stories in this series were inspired by the comments ^^ (and I'm starting to run out of ideas for this series, but I really want to keep writing it,,, (⌣_⌣”)


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